When I was at Bible College I sat in a mission/anthropology lecture focused on how normal human practices can vary across cultures. There were numbers of examples used. Brian Woodford, the lecturer, told us of his experience while kissing his wife, Miriam, goodbye in the village before he went off on a survey trip. The Birafor people (of Burkina Faso) almost fell on the ground laughing at what they had just seen. They asked, “Why did you rub your lips together like that?” Brian explained that is what “we” do to express affection for a loved one, especially if we are going away for a while. They laughed again viewing such a practice as ridiculous. Brian then asked them what they did to express affection. A Birafor man came close and reaching up to Brian, who is tall, proceeded to rub circles on Brian’s head with his hand. Just like Brian said, it wouldn’t “do it” for me. Rubbing circles on my head is not going to satisfy me. I like the cultural practice of kissing. Rubbing circles on the head just doesn’t cut it.
Sitting in the class beside my new found friend Saxon Talo from the Solomon Islands I could receive this information and process it and file it away under the heading “Makes Sense”. Yes I can understand there can be cultural differences around the world:- how we eat, sleep, show affection and other human responses we take for granted. We all think our cultural way of doing things is the right way. As we left the class, Saxon grabbed my hand and held it. What I had just heard in class as an illustrative example but still theoretical, suddenly had become real. Saxon and I had spent time together over the weeks before and had become friends. I could cope with the fact that by holding my hand Saxon was conveying to me that I was his friend. But experientially I had never held hands with a man before. It felt “weird”. Not only that but what had been theory in class and that which everyone had heard was now being playing out before students who had not been in the class and didn’t know the context just explained by Brian in the class. Now what would I do?
I left my hand in Saxon’s because I knew what it meant to him and I didn’t care what the others thought. But the contrasts suddenly escalated when we walked out of the campus environment and out on to the drive and coming toward us were two Aussie guys. I knew what Saxon thought about us holding hands and how he interpreted it. I could cope with that. I knew what I thought about it, especially having just had it explained to me in class by Brian. But I also knew what these two Aussies would be thinking about it. In fact I could see what they thought about it by the looks on their faces. Now, what would I do about it faced with their reaction and what I knew they would do with that information on campus? Answer at the end of this Gem.