I have been doing a lot of thinking lately on the basics and Bible basics. The elemental principles. Biblically for that we have to go back to Genesis – Beginnings or In the Beginning. I have had occasion too to be thinking about minimal pairs. By that I mean words that are almost identical in form and sound but are almost diametrically opposite.
Words like:-
Man, mankind [adam] and earth or dust [adamah]
Male, man, husband [ish] and female, woman, wife [Ishah]
Spirit, breath, wind (Ruach]
Words are building blocks to truth in the way they go together. The top shelf of my library here in my study are all dictionaries. Words are important.
Genesis (In the Beginning / Beginnings) is important. God’s first words; His first principles are supremely important. There is a principle in Hebrew thought of the Law of First Mention. The first mention of something in the Bible is foundational to its ongoing revelation of truth. The relationship of those words I listed above are foundational to Biblical Truth.
Now stop a moment and think.
Evolution vs Creation – two diametrically opposed world views, the first of which doesn’t hold any truth. Nothing left to itself improves, the Law of Entropy says it will rust, decay and turn to dust. We humans return to the dust from which we were made. Life comes from Adam and Eve it doesn’t come from Adam and Steve. God made mankind male and female, not he and him or she and her or shim and sher.
Now let me take you on a journey into those elemental principles of Genesis. All to explain the idea of Strongholds, Male-Female Relationships, Dependance-Independence-Interdependance and Submission. To do that we are going to explore two concepts found under the Law of First Mention in Genesis 2:18.
negeth ezer
וַיֹּאמֶר יהוה אֱלֹהִים לֹא־טוֹב הֱיוֹת הָאָדָם לְבַדּוֹ אֶעֱשֶׂהּ ־לּוֹ עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ
{As his negeth} helper {for him} {I will make} alone {the man} being {good-not} God LORD {and he said}
And the LORD God said, It is not good for man to be alone, I will make for him a helper (ezer), his match/negeth.
Oh how much we need to understand what God did when He made for man a negeth.
The idea of this word negeth is a complement; not a compliment. One who completes him or is the perfect completer for the man. One who matches him perfectly. I remember back to early Navigator training as a Christian and doing the Two Become One book – Male and Female Complementary Beings with Tania. When God made Eve for Adam he made the perfect, most suitable mate for him – the one who would complete him.
Hold up your hands and place them opposed to one another touching. Thumb to thumb, little finger to little finger and all matching in between. That is the picture of you and your negeth. Now spread out the fingers on one hand and imagine that your fingers are your strengths and the gaps between your fingers are your weaknesses. Put your two hands back together again opposing one another as before. Notice strengths oppose strengths. That is the nature of you and your negeth. If your strengths and your spouse’s strengths are opposing then they clash. But consider too that God made male and female to fit together. I won’t labour the point physically, you will get it without any explanation from me. It’s the reason why Adam and Steve can’t conceive. But notice what happens when you spread your fingers and then move your hands so that the fingers on one hand fit the gaps between the fingers on the other hand. Now clasp your hands together.
There you are! You have the exact relationship pictured in your hands for a man and a woman. Each one being the others negeth. Your hands now represent what the relationship of a husband and wife ought to be. The strength of one filling the weaknesses of the other and vice versa.
There pictured by your hands is the true nature of the relationship God intends for the two of you. Notice how the clasped hands perfectly depict the nature of Interdependence. That dear friends is what you are destined for in God. Your creator wants you to grow into Interdependance and for that reason he gave you a negeth. To achieve that all you and your spouse need to do is to displace the position of your hands one click. Move so that your strengths don’t oppose one another but rather complement as God intended. Your strengths fill the weaknesses of your spouse and vice versa.
What if God designed marriage not to make us happy but to perfect us?
Now allow me to lead you into another foundational truth of Genesis related to husbands and wives. These two deep truths go together: the one above related to negeth and the one below related to adversary.
Take particular note of this pairing of verses in Genesis:
You will desire to control your husband, but he will rule over you.
Genesis 3:16
Sin is crouching at the door, eager to control you. But you must subdue it and be its master.
Genesis 4:7
The Hebrew of these two verses is exactly the same only the players have been switched. Both are paired. The desire of the wife for her husband matches the desire of sin for you as an individual! What is going on here? Oh there is a deep truth buried in the relationship between words.
Fellas, God designed the match of your marriage so that you perfectly complement one another. Her strengths compensate for your weaknesses and your strengths compensate for her weaknesses. I understand now a whole lot clearer something my mother used to say to me in those tumultuous years of us both living with my father. I would tell her, “Mum, why don’t you leave him? This is not the kind of life you should have. We need to be quit of this!” To which my mother used to say, “Ian, God made the woman to be a restorer.” I really didn’t understand what she was saying when I was ten or eleven. I couldn’t grasp the depth of the principle. But oh, I do now!
God has made a woman to be the one who turns a house into a home. She is the one who organises and completes things. Just entering a house and looking around will tell you if a man and woman lives there or whether it is just a house with a man or a bunch of men. I see now it takes a woman’s touch to make a house a home. Something else my mother used to say and I would laugh it off. But there is a deep truth here. If a man doesn’t step up to his responsibility and take care of the things that need caring for a woman will step in and do it because it is in her nature. But be careful guys. We all know the sayings about a nagging wife. But deep down inside do you know what is happening? The woman will step up and try to make happen that which you don’t do. It is in her nature; she wants to put things in order. I saw that struggle constantly between my mother and my father. What he wouldn’t or couldn’t do because of his drunken stupors, she would step up and do. But that very act would set them on opposing stances. He would get indignant that she was filling his role for him and it drove him crazy and ultimately drove them both crazy and me along with them.
Guys, a woman was made by God to be your negeth (I prefer to use the Hebrew term rather than an English substitute for the reasons outline above). But if you don’t do your part then she will rise up and seek to control things. Not necessarily to control you. Rather she can’t stand to see the household falling into a state of chaos or disrepair. It is the same force working within the woman office manager or financial controller who strives to see everything working decently and in order. That very urge within her to set things right will set her on the course of being your adversary rather than your negeth. That is exactly what is described in Genesis. If you won’t play your part then she will rise up to do it for you.
Buried in the derivation of the two words אִישׁ (ish) “man” and אִשָּׁה (isha) “woman” is a deeper concept. While the two words sound similar and look similar they are derived from different roots. The word אִישׁ (ish) comes from the root אִוֵּשׁ, denoting “strength”, while the word אִשָּׁה (isha) comes from the root אֲנָשׁ (anash) meaning “fragile”. Let’s face it, the LORD Himself has built into mankind a strength and a fragility all at the same time. Hidden in the term [ezer] (helper) is a combative sense. One who will rise like a warrior to do what needs to be done. The Hebrew phrase עֵזֶר כְּנֶגְדּוֹ (ezer kenegdo) describing Eve as a helper fit for Adam contains another sense of a helper “who is against him” or “over against him”. Fella, if you are not careful you can set your wife to be on a collision course with you.
The Proverbs 31 woman is described in Proverbs 31:10 as being אֵשֶׁת-חַיִל (eshet chayil) figuratively speaking “a woman-soldier”!
A look at the way the Bible versions handle Prov 31:10 will show you that.
- (APB) A vigorous wife who shall find, more esteemed than costly stones.
- (BBE) Who may make discovery of a woman of virtue? For her price is much higher than jewels.
- (Brenton) Bloody men hate a holy person, but the upright will seek his soul.
- (CEV) A truly good wife is the most precious treasure a man can find!
- (CJB) Who can find a capable wife? Her value is far beyond that of pearls.
- (ERV) How hard it is to find the perfect wife. She is worth far more than jewels.
- (ESV) An excellent wife who can find? She is far more precious than jewels.
- (GW) “Who can find a wife with a strong character? She is worth far more than jewels.
- (ISV) Who can find a capable wife? Her value far exceeds the finest jewels.
- (JPS) A woman of valour who can find? for her price is far above rubies.
- (JUB) Who can find a valiant woman? for her price is far above precious stones.
- (KJV) Who can find a virtuous woman? for her price is far above rubies.
- (LITV) Who can find a woman of virtue? For her value is far above jewels.
- (NLT) Who can find a virtuous and capable wife? She is more precious than rubies.
- (TLV) An accomplished woman who can find? Her value is far beyond rubies.
Your woman may well rise up against you in her efforts to set the household or the family in order if you won’t. It is a God ordained principle.
I haven’t finished with this yet; more next Nugget.